Crankin sooooooooo much better than that piece of crap original...

Pari and Harvin save 'Soulja Boy- Crank That'



And from Yahoo Answers:

I've removed most of the letters that the poor dude can't pronounce anyway
A reader asks:

What is the Song "Crank That (Soulja Boy)" Song REALLY About???
...& please don't tell me it's about dancing cause I already heard from a few peeps that its not about dancing but about sex....but I dont know enough teenage slang to really understand it. I didnt even know he was say "Hoe" i thought he was saying "ooooh" so i guess that shows you how far off I am. lol. Can anyone translate this?????

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Crank It
Watch Me Roll
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy
Then Super Man Dat Hoe
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe
Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock
Super Man Dat Hoe
Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop
Super Fresh, Now Watch Me Jock
Jocking On Them Haterz Man
When I Do Dat Soulja Boy
I Lean To The Left And Crank Dat Dance
And If We Get The Fightin
Then I'm Co**ing On Your *** *
You Catch Me At Yo Local Party
Yes I Crank It Everyday
Haterz Get Mad Cuz
"I Got Me Some Bathin Apes"
I'm Bouncin On My Toe
Watch Me Super Soak Dat Hoe
I'ma Pass It To Arab
Then He Gon Pass It To The Low (Low)
Haterz Wanna Be Me
Soulja Bo

Raleigh Jazz Fan graciously provides a translation:
I have created a new dance step, which I have modestly named "Soldier Boy", after yours truly.

I would attempt to describe the dance, but (a) you would confuse it with my experiences with a paid escort, and (b) your attempts to approximate my level of competence would be laughable.

Your envy of me may cause you to threaten fisticuffs, but that would be a grave mistake, as I would retaliate with a firearm.

Therefore my advice to you is to enjoy my prowess, whether it be my limber ballroom skills, or my equally laudatory efforts in the boudoir, wherein the natural conclusion of my lovemaking is likely to be quite voluminous.

(Please buy my record, won't you? I suffer from a speech impediment that renders me incapable of pronouncing the second half of nearly every word.)